Israel voted last place on earth God would go to for a vacation.

Posted on 10/06/2011


By Hadid Hijab – Daily Burlesque 10/06/2011

The International Tourism Board published the results of a global survey it conducted for the airline industry regarding the most tourist friendly airports. Amsterdam’s Schipol Airport was voted the most travel friendly, least hassle for long layovers, and ranked overall as the best international airport to depart or arrive at. Jan Van Hoorn, a spokesman for the airport said ” We are very happy with the results of this survey, we like to think of the airport as a microcosm that represents Dutch society at large, both our openness to all people, as well as our forward looking approach to using cutting edge technology to keep the traveler’s safe, without violating their personal dignity with intrusive searches and mindless questions.” At the bottom of the list, Tel Aviv’s David Ben Gurion ranked last in every category except for one, Ben Gurion got the highest marks for being “the last airport in the world that anyone would voluntarily return to, even if somebody paid them money to fly there.” Rebecca Young, spokesperson for Frommer’s and recent visitor to Tel Aviv had this to say about her experience ” As an American citizen, and one of the first members of FlySafe ( a background processing agency for air travel) I was appalled at the treatment I received at this miserable excuse for a commercial airport, in fact, I would willingly subject myself to 8 hours of water-boarding in an iraqi prison before I would return to that airport.” Young added ” Going through security there was about as enjoyable as a hot sauce enema, except it was worse.”